Are You Sure, God?

For the next year, I will be doing a deep study of the book of Isaiah. I am calling it ‘One Year with Isaiah’. My heart’s desire for this year has many sides to it, but the key goals are:

  1. To discover the promise of the Person of Christ,
  2. To deeply consume the promises of redemption and restoration within the tumultuous poetic prophecy of the prophet, Isaiah.

As I begin this journey of diving deep into the depths of Isaiah’s prophecy, I am gripped. That’s the best way of describing what’s going in my heart. My heart is gripped by the depth of humanity’s fallenness and the depth of God’s willingness to restore us. Below is a poem that comes from the reaching of my heart as I discover the depths of my own depravity mirrored in the reality of Israel’s failures in chapters 1 and 2 of Isaiah:

Are You Sure, God?

Are you okay with me as i flounder?
Within the ocean of questions and the swirling seas of my confusion are you okay with me?
Are you standing with me as i fall down again and again?
Are you walking with me as i stumble,
seeming to trip more than i step?

Are you the one that picks me up time and time again,
or is it just me struggling to stand on my own?
Am i just dusting myself off? Why dust my clothes when my heart is full of filth?

Are you the one behind my forward gaze,
or is it my own imagined target that stands in front of me?
Is this even going anywhere? Am I even going anywhere?

Are you stronger than the raging fire within me?
Are you more powerful than the doubts that captivate my inner world?
Am i constructed and built upon a rock,
or am i utterly and completely composed of sinking sand, no foundation, no rising hope?

Where are you in all of my humanity – God?

Surely you are initiating all of this.
Surely you knew i would fail.
Surely you knew i was empty even when i boasted fullness.
Surely you knew i could not lift myself up on my own.
Surely you must be willing to associate with me, nay, even desire and love me in the midst of my unfaithfulness and waywardness of heart.
Surely you have turned to face me, square on.
Surely you have taken up the challenge, unflinching as you take me on,
and surely you cannot fail!

Surely your love is more consuming than my hate,
your covenant of faithfulness more loyal than my infidelity,
your strength stronger than my weakness,
your truth truer than my confusion,
your stance more upright than my crumbling fall,
your gaze more constant than my winking affair,
your settled existence more solid than my restless wandering.

Surely, God, surely this must be so,
or else i could not breathe again.
I would exhale and let it all out in one long despairing sigh,
never to inhale the possibility of hope again.

Surely, God, surely this must be so,
that your goodness trumps my badness,
and makes me a lovely little heart
deep in the centre of the Heart of all Hearts!

Of this i must be sure,
that you are sure, God.