A letter written to me from a friend on the other side of the world, crying out for help in her spiritual journey. After reading this letter, you can read my response here.

Dear Alison,

Sorry for the vague twitter post, I just needed to get it out, I was compelled to write down what I have been feeling deep inside for a while. I read your blog and browse your site often. Your drive, compassion, and zest for God have been a source of happiness and calm in me for a long while. I have had trouble settling down in a firm relationship with God. I have bounced back and forth over the years as a Christian, Buddhist, Christian, Pagan, Jewish (in theory not a full conversion), I even toyed with Islam… and the cycle continues. I have tried to get comfortable in God and start conversations with Jesus but I have been restless and never felt fully connected with them. I have been to many churches over the years, Anglican (I was brought up in the Anglican Church), Baptist, Pentecostal, Non-Denominational, But I have never found a Church where I felt at home. Having spent many years as a Pagan practicing solitarily and with a group and I am more comfortable being religious in the home and in my homemade little sanctuary. I have found that I am more open to prayer when I am relaxing in a bubble bath opening myself up to the spiritual world around me. There are many aspects of the bible and the new testament in particular that I have trouble dealing with regards to my religious background and deep study into other faiths.

I do truly admire the work you do and your deep belief I just don’t know where I stand. I have given my life over to Christ twice in the last 12 years and both times I did not feel that sense of completeness that I know most people feel. I have been struggling to understand Jesus and the Cross and have listened to all of your talks on your website but I just don’t know.

I have a deep respect for the God of the Old Testament and love reading that portion of the Bible but I have trouble with the Divinity of Jesus. I do believe him to be a prophet of God’s word but I have trouble viewing him as more than a Man, more than a human being who spoke God’s words, like Moses, Abraham, even Mohammed.

I guess my trouble and lack of understanding comes from the similarities of the Jesus story with those of other Faiths from the time of history BC. I do feel a connection to him but I am not sure where that connection lies and where it could go.

I don’t know if any of this makes sense to you. Your faith seems to come so easy to you and you believe without question. I guess my problem is my inability to believe without question. I am a science brained thinker and love Darwin and Evolution and the links between our DNA and that of other Mammals. I do have a deep respect and understanding of the creationist theory but have been unable to fully commit to it.
I want to know God better I want my daily walk to be with him and I keep trying and every time I am drawn back into the religious path I was on before. And even on those other paths I never full commit 100% I jump in head first for a little while and then fall back and flounder in those spiritual walks as well.

I am hungry. I am thirsty. I am praying.

I need to improve my prayer life and my knowledge on how to pray so that I can maybe hear what God is saying to me. So that I know God’s plan for me. I want to hear his voice I want to glimpse his face, I want to find his loving arms and have him embrace me for eternity.

Thanks for listening to the cries of my heart.

Signed,
A Friend

Note: To read my response, click here.