Blog, God + Spirituality, Guest Posts, Relationships

Foundations in Relationship: Intimate and Private Conversation – Part 2 of 2 [Guest Post]

Spike continues part 2 of his guest articles on the foundations of relationships. Today, he’s got some awesome stuff to share about the importance of privacy and intimate conversation in the most important relationship of your life. It really challenged me and stirred my heart. May it do the same for you. Check out Part 1: Trust, if you haven’t read it yet.



I had contacted Alison about sharing something on her blog and after discussing it with her, I sat down to write. Since God has been teaching me a lot of great things lately, I figured it would be easy. But, the longer I sat and stared at my computer screen, or flipped through my journal, or read through passages that God has me studying He began to nudge at my heart. He was getting my attention. And He was making it known what my real intentions were. I was about to share the private, secret things that He was sharing with me and, in doing so, I was only looking to glorify myself. It was as if I were betraying Him and sharing the intimate details of our relationship to the world.

“But Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often.”
Luke 2:19, NLT

“But his delight and desire are in the law of the Lord, and on His law (the precepts, the instructions, the teachings of God) he habitually meditates (ponders and studies) by day and by night.”
Psalm 1:2, AMP

“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty [Whose power no foe can withstand].”
Psalm 91:1, AMP

“Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore will I deliver him; I will set him on high, because he knows and understands My name [has a personal knowledge of My mercy, love, and kindness—trusts and relies on Me, knowing I will never forsake him, no, never].”
Psalm 91:14, AMP

These verses are all about building an intimate relationship with God. In the time we spend with Him, we are spoken to intimately. God loves it when we seek Him privately. Again, think about it in the context of our relationships with others. When you’re dating or married, there are many conversations you have with that person that are not for sharing. Those conversations are based initially on the trust that you built at the beginning.

Our God is all about relationships. He wants to have an intimate, candid relationship with us and He wants us to be able to share the love He shows us. Remember, even through our direct, blatant coming against Him, He still trusts us.

One of the key things from this is to hold on to the stuff that God speaks over us in our private worship of Him. There are times when God will speak to you and some of the things He says are not for sharing. Sometimes, even when we are so excited and energized by a word that God gave us, it’s best to keep it in your heart. Let it seep into your heart and your mind. Do as Mary did and keep it in your heart so that you may think about it often. It’s in that place of private intimacy with the Lord that He will return blessing to us.

I love what the Amplified Bible says about, well, everything, but especially about prayer.

“But when you pray, go into your [most] private room, and, closing the door, pray to your Father, Who is in secret; and your Father, Who sees in secret, will reward you in the open.”
Matthew 6:6, AMP

Wow, just WOW! God, the Unseen, will see what we do, how we respond to Him, how we come before Him, in secret. And, in return, He will reward us in the open! Doesn’t that just excite you? God does this because He knows our hearts. God knows that the life we live, when we are alone, will immediately reflect the life we live publicly. He doesn’t want us to be people who, in public, worship Him and proclaim His name but, in secret, we still find ourselves slaves to personal sins and bondage. No, He wants us to live the freedom of worshiping Him in public and in private.

I urge you all to seek the Lord candidly. Don’t hold back. If you’re angry, vent to Him. If you’re happy, celebrate with Him. Let Him comfort you and speak to you. I love to worship and pray as I drive around because I can speak however I want and I know that it’s just God and myself. He wants you to communicate with Him day and night. Never cease to talk to God. He is always listening. Let Him love on you but keep that love in your heart so, even in your darkest hour, you can remember and meditate on how He loves you.

The song “You Know Me” from Bethel Music speaks so deeply to me and I hope these few lines will speak to you, too:

You know when I rise and when I fall,
When I come or go, You see it all.
You hung the stars and You move the sea.
And still You know me
And nothing is hidden from Your sight.
Wherever I go, You find me.
And You know every detail of my life.
And You are God and You don’t miss a thing.

Let that resonate with you, that God knows every detail of your life and He doesn’t miss anything. He is the one who hung the stars. He is the one that moves the sea. Yet, He will still meet you where you are, just as you are.


About the Author:

SpikeMartinez_PicSpike lives in the San Antonio, TX area and delights in his bovine neighbors. He seeks to reach out to San Antonio through prayer and the arts. He hopes to find a job where he will never have to shave again. You can find Spike online on his Website.

  • Thought this EXACT same thing yesterday! Suddenly had a bunch of thoughts during church service and I started to write them down as potential blog posts. Then all of the sudden, I just stopped. Felt prompted to ask Him, “Is this stuff I’m supposed to share…or is this just for me?” And think it was just for me.

    Thanks for writing this. It’s so tempting to go overboard with disclosure, especially when we get a certain amount of likes, plus ones and retweets out of it. Easy to forget how sweet it can be to cherish something all to yourself!

    • Jacqueline,

      Thanks for your comment! It’s to true, isn’t it, how quickly we rush to share a precious treasure we are given in intimate moments with God. I was really challenged when Spike wrote this article. It’s prompted me to really think of my relationship with God in terms of the private, intimate relationship we have with a significant other, and part of what we treasure about that relationship is the fact that it is special, not exposed to all eyes and there is a element of secrecy to it.

      I often find myself in conflict, at times, with my online presence (blogging, tweeting, etc) and I find myself desiring to pull away more and come into a place of a deeper hiddenness in my life, not for shame of showing myself, but for the dignity of having a hiddenness where I can create a safehaven for God to dwell with me and for others to come into that place of trusted friendship that is not cheaply displayed for all to see.

      May you find a new joy in the mystery of hiddenness and privacy with God and others, and balance it with what you show the outside world.


      • Hey Allison!

        Agreed. Yesterday’s prompting and this post were both really convicting (in a positive way!). It makes me ask two questions about what I’m thinking of sharing:

        1) Is this something God is trying to teach ME? If so then I’m probably not ready to talk about it to anyone else! My attention should be on taking his instruction to heart and working it out in my life.

        2) What’s my motivation? Is this something I think people really need to hear? Will this help them grow in their own relationship w/ God? Will this help them practically? Or am I posting this because I mainly want people to think I’m spiritually wise or am hoping they’ll affirm my writing?

        You’re right, it’s profoundly helpful to think of it in terms of an intimate relationship. Actually, I’m in a serious dating relationship right now, and I struggle with the same thing in respect to my boyfriend! The affirmation hog in me wants to flaunt my relationship status and plaster my wall with cute Instagram pictures of our feet and us kissing and then listen to everyone tell me how adorable we both are and how happy they are for me (or how jealous they are of me)!

        So if I’m honest, my motivation is usually self-centered and ultimately all that attention and affirmation is short-lived anyhow. And although it’s sometimes difficult to refrain from oversharing, I’ve also found that keeping the moments to myself actually makes me feel them more intensely and enjoy them a lot longer. I play them over and over in my mind, and each time I do, they bring JOY to my heart and a smile on my face. And only I know what’s behind the smile =)

        As for sharing things online, I definitely appreciate that tension. But I also think God makes it pretty clear when something is intended for me or something is intended for a bigger audience. There are times when He delivers us a love note, and other times when He hands us a message. We just have to listen (and sometimes ask!) to know which one it is =)


        • You have such a beautiful heart. Thanks for sharing all of that. I loved what you said about how we have to discern if God is “delivering us a love note” or “handing us a message” for others. What a great way to look at it.

          Bless you!