Blog, Guest Posts, Relationships

Loving Each Other’s Differences [Guest Post]

I’ve been given permission by a friend of mine to share these words below. Let’s call it an anonymous guest post! The topic came up during a discussion about how you don’t have to agree or be the same in order to be close. Differences between people are often what make these relationships diverse, beautiful and truly interesting! ~Alison


 

Garden Of The Gods
[Alison Lam photo, Garden of the Gods, Colorado 2014]
Sometimes it just makes me laugh when I think about how different we all are.

I have a friend who will be like, “Ohh! Look at that church over there. See how the colour in the stone changes with the light?!” and I’ll be like, “There’s a church over there?”

We do not all understand or find beauty in the same things, but isn’t that what makes us… I don’t know… interesting? We can have all these interesting and wonderful relationships even if we look through different lenses…

I remember having a discussion with a group of friends back in school. One of my dearest friends was proving a point and sharing with the third person that she doesn’t really want to go for walks with me, but she does it because she knows it means a lot to me and she wants to spend time with me.

My first instinct was shock.

Then the pouty lip wanted to come out, “You don’t like doing that?”

On one hand, it was kind of insulting, but on the other hand, I  felt an overwhelming sense of love and understanding. Someone chose to do something they didn’t want to do, just to be with me and they gave no hint that I was inconveniencing them.

That is friendship…

That is love.

I’m not saying that we should start doing things we hate, but I’m just saying that my friend’s small gesture spoke volumes to me — I felt desired.

We are never going to be able to understand everything another person does or thinks. It’s simply reality to admit that our own experiences, desires and needs will always be in the forefront of our thoughts, words, actions and opinions.

This week, some words by the Dalai Lama have really hit home to me,

“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”

This is Counseling 101. One of the first things you’ll learn is to:

Shut up.

You will help far more by keeping your mouth shut.

By listening to and experiencing another’s heart and desires, we might find ourselves learning things we never knew existed.

We don’t have to be the same person to love each other.