Let me invite you into some of the dialogue and thought-processes that go on in my head. Today I would like to write about the Cross, and specifically, about Christ on the Cross…

Growing up, I was always uncomfortable with seeing people who wore “crucifixes”, the pendant form of a cross WITH Christ hanging on it. Or quite often, the crucifix was boldly up front and centre on the main wall of the auditorium of many churches (usually Catholic churches). I felt offended, to be honest, by the fact that Jesus was up there hanging on the cross. I would say to myself (and to others who were around at the time), “I hate when I see the cross with Jesus hanging lifelessly on it. Don’t people get it? Jesus is not dead. He’s alive!” and I carried this attitude that it was disgusting, depressing, and morbid to see people wearing these crucifixes or seeing them hanging on a wall in a church.

I no longer feel this way.

What changed?

Well, I met Christ intimately ON the cross, as He lay dying upon it, and I found myself being crucified there upon that very cross WITH HIM. I met the dying Christ, and my heart has never been the same since.

I now see Christ on a cross and I weep with affection for this Man. I see this bloody tree as the place of meeting. It has become the altar of intimacy for me, in which I finally came to love the Christ, the Messiah. I died with Him there. This is where I came to love Him, at last.

Yes, Jesus Christ is no longer on the Cross. He is surely alive and seated at the right hand of the Father, on the Throne. But who can ever forget the place where you first gave your heart to the one you love? You can never forget it, and your heart will always long for this place, this meeting place. It will always hold a special place in you heart.

In another sense, He is on the cross every day of our lives. The thing with the cross is that we never leave it, this side of Heaven. We continually return, daily, to our cross, to His cross. We never leave this continual death, as we are called to continual resurrected life which is born out of death, every time.

Are we called to daily resurrection?

Well, this can only come with daily death.

With every day, there comes night. Then the morning arrives with the sun rising again upon us. Every day, without stop. The cycle of death and new life.

In reality, Christ hung on the cross once, and sin was paid for once, but in our lives, essentially, it happens every day. We die daily. So we can be borne anew, each and every day into new life, the life of Christ.

This is a bit of insight into why I now love to see Christ on the Cross, and the Crucifix is an offence that I now embrace with a whole heart.

Selah. Think upon that.

Read these astounding words from the Apostle Paul…

7But whatever things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. 8But no, rather, I also count all things to be loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them to be dung, so that I may win Christ 9and be found in Him… that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being made conformable to His death; 11if by any means I might attain to the resurrection of the dead. (Phil 3:7-11 MKJV)

And then read this slightly different translation of Paul’s words…

7 I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. 8 Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ 9 and become one with him… 10 I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, 11 so that one way or another, I will experience the resurrection from the dead! (Phil 3:7-11 NLT)

Paul truly was an alien. A strange man in this world! He was a man who wore “dung goggles”. He looked at life through these lenses. Everything was dung compared to the desire and longing to know Christ and to be one with Him. But we read his written words above and we just can’t seem to connect. We are quite in love with this world; we are enamored with this life. The thought of dying and losing our lives and our lifestyle and our possessions seems more like a tragedy than a genuine upgrade! We certainly don’t consider our lives on earth as “dung” (garbage, rubbish, worthless stuff…). We’d much rather wear some trendy shades than to put on dung goggles.

I love what Mrs. Charles Cowman wrote in her famous devotional book ‘Streams in the Desert’:

St. Paul won the race; he gained the prize, and he has not only the admiration of earth today, but the admiration of Heaven. Why do we not act as if it paid to lose all to win Christ? Why are we not loyal to truth as he was? Ah, we haven’t his arithmetic. He counted differently from us; we count the things gain that he counted loss. We must have his faith, and keep it if we would wear the same crown. (Mrs. Cowman)

I could write a book about what God has been doing in my heart in recent months… but some things feel too precious to post on here, but what I will say is that God is weaning me of my dependencies on earthly things. All this “STUFF” I have called gain, and been unwilling to lose, I have clung to and grasped onto as though they were my most valuable possession. But I’m in this place now in life, where I am just so weary of holding on to these “cling-on addictions” — God’s got me cornered and I am too tired to resist Him any longer. I just want to follow the Lord into this time of deep relinquishment, even if the pain level threatens to take me out. I just want to let go now….

You see, I have seen the letting go of these ‘loves’ as the losing of myself, the losing of what makes me “ME”, the losing of all things precious. God is weaning me of these dependencies – those things I have lived and moved and breathed and had my being in.

To wean means to “accustom someone to managing without something on which they have become dependent or of which they have become excessively fond”

I truly am being weaned, like a baby, by its Parent. I am crying and flailing my arms in protest, I am having my hissy fits, my moments of panic as I fear I cannot survive without these security blankets, this milk, this soother, this “STUFF” that comforts me. God is re-aligning me so that I can begin to manage without this “STUFF” on which I have become exceedingly dependent, and of which I have become exceedingly fond. I have given this “STUFF” my heart, my love, my energy, my focus, my leaning. I have leaned and leaned and leaned upon this “STUFF”. I have fallen in love with this dung, this rubbish pile, this garbage – and called it treasure, precious to me.

In replacement? I am being given a new food, with a taste that is foreign to my tongue and slightly frightening in flavour. It seems quite bitter to the taste as I begin to partake, but I sense a strange sweetness is on its way… Something deep within me knows there will be some gain in this, some nourishment, some unknown nutrient that will bring the longed-for fulfillment to my stomach, oxygen to my lungs and blood to my heart. But I don’t think I am yet experiencing the reality of this treasure that is being cultivated in my inner world.

I still think this new way adds up to zero, or possibly in the negatives. I have not fully grasped that it could really be a number uncountable, of gain upon gain, of rich abundance spilling over into more abundance…

Lord, you are weaning me off the dung. You are making me accustomed to a new food, the only real treasure, and teaching me a new arithmetic:

To lose is gain.