Note: This is a continued series of letters between a friend and I, as she embarks on a spiritual journey. You can read her original letter here and then my original response here. I haven’t included her latest letter, but below is my most recent response.
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Thank you, again, for sharing the struggles within your heart with such openness. Again, in prayer, I have many thoughts welling up on the inside of me and I will share them now:
It seems that you are caught up in the torture of division. You have a divided heart. There is double-mindedness in you. This is the diagnosis of all mankind. You have your foot in many different streams, dabbling in a polygamy of pools. This is not strange or surprising. There is something within the fallen condition of all humans that resists solidarity of commitment and faithfulness to just One, and is drawn to the desperate grasping of many ‘others’.
The truth is, though, that when we come to Christ, our life dies, and our life is no longer our own. Our life, from that point on, is His life lived out through us. You are now hidden in Christ. You are no longer seen, so that He can be seen and glorified.
“I have been crucified with Christ, and I live; yet no longer I, but Christ lives in me. And that life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith toward the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself on my behalf.” (Galatians 2:20)
“For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” (Colossians 3:3)
Maybe some of what you admire in me (and this is not to say that there is anything praiseworthy about my life) is just seeing a life that died many years ago (not to say I don’t kick and scream from time to time!!!!). Alison Lam, solo identity outside of Christ, died long ago. There is no other path for me. A life, apart from Christ, is no longer a reality. It is an illusion. When I try and go my own independent way, I am just living in an illusion. It is not real. Continue reading →
