Chapter 2 (of 6): Out of my comfy world, God rocks my world
After the completion of this Masters Commission school, I moved back to my childhood hometown of Orillia and God had me stay there for 3 years, earning a living, involving myself in church worship & music ministries, acquiring things like a car, an apartment, furniture, and I began to “build my life” and “fulfill my dreams”, and was quite comfy and content. But over the 3 years at home, despite this seeming “contentedness”, I developed a restlessness deep in my spirit – this feeling that I was not doing what I was supposed to be doing, what I’d been made to do. I began to strongly know that there must be something more in life than just earning a living, buying nice stuff, tithing, church involvement, and having a comfy lifestyle, even if it was a good, moral lifestyle.
So, at the time, I began thinking up and dreaming of my own business ideas, using my love of inspirational quotes and my skills in Graphic Design, so I signed up for a business, entrepreneurial course, and registered a business called Live Creative. Part of the motivation for this was a true desire to encourage and inspire people and bless people through creative expression and greeting cards, signs, shirts, and some home decor elements etc. The other motivating factor was a deep sense of guilt that I had not made use of my Graphic Design training and that I was “letting it go to waste”. I independently tried to put together a business, despite all my lack of preparation and all of my fears associated with “being rusty” with all of the design programs, and I invested a bunch of money into buying the appropriate equipment. I was excited for this, but I realize now looking back on it, that I was not prepared and that it was not the right season, even though it may indeed be a dream of God for me that I one day pursue.
During this time of starting to set up a business, in November 2004, I went with a friend on a purely recreational vacation to the Dominican Republic. Our plan was just to get away from life here and have a blast. And we did! But little did I know that one day would change my entire life. You see, I had months back started to sponsor a child through Compassion Canada and she was from the Dominican. Unfortunately, the trip was not set up that I would be able to visit her, but instead we were able to go on a Day Excursion, where we did various fun tropical activities, but also travelled and toured through some of the local rural areas, and were able to visit a Dominican school of children and give them gifts and toys. My heart awoke with such love for these children! I wanted to scoop ’em all up and take them home with me. At the same time, my heart broke to see the poverty there, and the worldliness in the tour industry, and how many people were throwing their lives away, desperately trying to fill voids in their spirit that only God can fill…
I came home and was not prepared for the complete inability on my part to adjust back to my tidy life in Canada. I became completely dissatisfied with my lifestyle and I couldn’t bear how complacent I had become with my life goals and just everyday living. From this point on, I knew that I had to do something different and I began to revamp my life. It was at this time that I picked up some books written by Loren Cunningham, the founder of YWAM, that spoke on hearing the voice of God and getting direction from the Lord, and really letting the Lord be Lord in your life… It brought back the memories way back from Uganda in 1999 when I had considered doing a DTS with YWAM.