We are fallen creatures. We are weak, frail, and broken. We fail one another, daily. This life gives us ample opportunities to learn about the wisdom of “I’m sorry.” This is a wisdom that does not come naturally to us. Our natural inclination is toward self-defense, self-preservation and self-protection because of our pride. Naturally, we do not like to apologize. No way. We’d much rather throw mud back at someone else and shift the blame off of ourselves. But, drawing on a quote that I read in a book when I was growing up, the truth of the matter is:
“When you throw dirt, you’re the one losing ground.”
So true. Blaming others and not owning our failures and wrongs, actually hurts us, in the end, and keeps us in emotional and spiritual immaturity. We can’t grow up if we can’t say “I’m sorry.”
It’s like a car without a reverse gear – it’s not safe to drive. Do you have a reverse gear in you that enables you to turn around and back up when you’ve gone down the wrong road? We don’t condemn the car that has a reverse gear and turns around when it’s gone the wrong way. No, we’d call it a car that’s working properly. We’d question the safety of a car that had no reverse gear and just kept trying to drive forward, when it was going in the wrong direction.
Are we a safe car, or are we dangerous, when driving down the relational roads of life?
Apologizing is like using the reverse gear in a car. It’s normal and expected. Continue Reading
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the wisdom of letting go and the wisdom of grieving. We relinquish our grip on something, for the sake of being free to take hold of the future that lies before us.
Grieving is not depression or despair. Rather, it is the right response to honouring something or someone significant that has gone into our past, and for whatever reason, cannot enter into the present or future. So, we must respond rightly through a process of grieving, making a mark in the sand, a memorial of sorts, to honour the passing of something special for the sake of staking a claim on our future HOPE.
Below is a quote that I came across while reading a book a while back. I can’t even remember what book it was – but it is beautifully expressed, carrying on in a similar vein to what I have just shared. May you be encouraged:
There must be a splitting and a breaking in order for a bud to form. The bud “lets go” when the flower forms…
There is no ongoing spiritual life without this process of letting go. If we hold tightly to anything given to us, unwilling to let it go when the time comes to let it go or unwilling to allow it to be used as the Giver means it to be used, we stunt the growth of the soul.
There must be relinquishment. There is no way around it.
The seed does not “know” what will happen. It only knows what is happening – the falling, the darkness, the dying!
But little does the seed know that, after the darkness of death, comes a whole new life – a fragrant blossom. A new, fruitful life.
Those of low estate are but a breath; those of high estate are a delusion; in the balances they go up; they are together lighter than a breath. (Psalm 62:9)
I’m tired of reaching for a horizon that I can never take hold of. I give up. It’s exhausting trying to be impressive, significant, special or fascinating. It takes too much energy and there’s just not enough return. It’s an investment that keeps stealing from me and yet gives nothing back. Nothing. I’m tired of giving all of my focus and energy and heart to things that bear no lasting fruit with my name on it.
I have given too much power to the opinion of man.
I cannot seem to be impressive and fascinating enough to sustain the long-term adoration of any one human being. I’ll never be impressive enough. And even if I did reach the epitome of human significance in the eyes of a beholder, the next day, the very same eyes would wander to a peak in the distance and be on to their next conquest. I can never satiate the eyes of man. I could never be impressive enough. And that’s becoming to me a relief and a healing balm. To man, I’m just not that special. I can breathe again. The pressure’s been lifted. Continue Reading
Theology of the Body for Beginners by Christopher West is the best book I’ve ever read on the value of the human body, sexuality, love, relationships, singleness, marriage and children (and I’ve read quite a few). Don’t let the “for Beginners” part throw you off. This book is profoundly deep. It’s definitely not “for Dummies”, but then again, all the dummies out there would be wise to get their hands on this book and get schooled. Seriously. It’s that good. And for all of you high and lofty ones, this book will challenge and stir your heart, leaving you in awe of God’s glorious purposes. So, it’s for any age, any level, any one. Are you human? If your answer is yes, then I commend this book to you. Continue Reading
Over the past couple decades, we have seen a growing “Culture of Boys”. Boys will be boys for a lot longer nowadays. They have said in studies that the age of entering into “adulthood” and “becoming a man” (which used to be 18-21) has crept up to the ripe ol’ age of 26 for most males! (I’d even call that stat outdated as I think the age is getting older). This would be the average age when guys assume their actual independence from their original family, leaving home, cleaving to another (getting married), carrying themselves financially without relying on their parents and then having their own children. Back in “the olden days”, guys were leaving and cleaving and supporting their new family units before the age of 20!
This is a huge delay in coming into adulthood! This means that there are a lot of guys running around out there right now that “look” like adults but are, in actuality, just overgrown boys. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like an epidemic. And this is unsettling. How did “I just wanna have fun and enjoy my life” become the vision statement for a whole generation of guys? Continue Reading